But since sex is in the blogosphere, and I've been talking with various people about a big sex post, let's get on with it.
First... gods, has it been almost two weeks already?! I lost my virginity!
OK, most of you are going, "Huhwha??" , since I've got kind of a tarty reputation. Well, I have it because I'm kind of a tart, to be honest. But, I'd never been with a man till the Saturday before last.
When I awoke in the world, I thought of myself as 60/40 straight, interested in dating and meeting people, but only mildly interested in sex and relationships, should they happen to come my way. OK, that wasn't me, as it turns out, but legacy code from the Other Personality's operating system, which quickly got overwritten.
How did I end up going from "60/40 straight" to "lesbian with exceptions?" London Spengler says it better than I can. Everything she said, and, two more things. Through the people close to me, I got impressions of SL men that were, let's say, less than stellar. And, I have a really hair-trigger fight or flight response, as anybody who knows me well has seen. For no reasons I've been able to find, I react like a post-traumatic stress sufferer, or rape victim. I'm *not,* and neither is the OP, but those responses are deeply coded into my personality, and tend to keep me at arms' length from from a particular kind of man that's all too common in SL, even if it's a type that others find very attractive.
So, I became someone in practice exclusive to women, and with really no positive exposure to straight men in SL.
Until my partner
Sure! I said with equal parts eagerness, mad lust and trepidation. We talked a bit specifically about what I'm attracted to in men - my tastes are very very different from nox's, so that took a bit of explaining: lean, metrosexual, polished, quite a bit of an anime look, tall and slender with broad shoulders....
Midweek, nox showed me what she and her friends had come up with, just to ensure my reaction wouldn't be screaming and running:
It wasn't! :)
The date was - well, it was a proper first date between strangers. Mr. Pinion took me for a walk in a lovely Japanese garden, and we sat in a swing and talked. He's *not* his sister, at all: formal, sparing of words, cracklingly intense. He's got the Pinion family sex appeal, though: while he had a full night of sightseeing and dancing planned, after about an hour in the swing, I was asking him very politely to take me home and fuck the living daylights out of me.
In no time, I was home, up on my St. Andrew's Cross, being deliciously tormented and satisfied. After I was crying, spent, exhausted, he took me down - and - well, let's just say? He'd give your average Clydesdale feelings of inadequacy :)
I'm not in love with him, and I don't expect to be. We're too powerfully opposite to be *easy* with each other. I'm a very energetic extrovert - lots of Fire energy shooting all over the place. He's a very controlled introvert, a laser to my bonfire. The dynamic between us is just too too intense to take in large doses. But I want to see him again, both socially and sexually.
Again, he's *not* his sister. My partner nox was on in back-channel IM, making sure I was OK, considering my issues. My bubbly, mordant, sweet-with-strychnine partner? Very different from the tighly wound insanely hung rakish scholar.
Has my experience left me more open to men in SL? That's a hard question to answer: I'd gotten a very nice proposition that week from an attractive man - and I never quite seem to get around to IMing him back. Because he's a guy? No, not in the first instance, but because he's much more nox's type than mine, and despite the charm and good looks, I'm on defensive alert just thinking about him.
On the other hand? Centrasian Wise and I have a ballooning date coming up after his vacation, and I'm *very* eager....
Mr. Pinion may have been my first man, but he wasn't my first cock, nor my last.... Not counting strapons (nox and I have these biggish black-and-steel ones from Dark Eden that are whoa fun!), quite a while back the hot-and-missed Andr3 Spear dropped by one morning to show me her new purchase, a top of the line herm cock - and, like a switch was thrown, I was instantly on my knees, opening my throat muscles to her. Whoosh! There just *is* something about a pretty girl with a nice cock... Recently, nox and our friend Mailia have gotten them as well. nox? Everything about nox's sexuality is insanely hot, and this was no exception. Mailia's been teasing me for a week about some very very very hot kink she has planned for me, when our schedules finally align....
I've also gone from a self conception as a subby top - naturally attracted to being kind of a pet to even taller, stronger women, but with my forwardness usually putting me as the sexual aggressor- to something far more nuanced. I'm - well, growing into a role as kind of a social nexus, and that's shaped my sexuality too. I go blue poseball really hard. One member of my family -
I'm growing fast, and I have no idea what I'm growing into or what lies ahead. I'm discovering things I'm not interested in sex with people who aren't friends first. And my time management issues leave me reallyreally picky: I have to ask myself - is there something with this person that warrants cutting into time I might spend with nox, Ali, Galatea? That standard is pretty high. But not *too* high (she says, winking at London and Centrasian)!
So, that's Soph's State of the Sex Speech for Week 12. Except to note, it's pretty amazing how *everybody* tends to be overworked, sick or generally tired all at the same time - it's been a pretty dry couple weeks for this tart! :P